Sometimes I think I have some kind of undiagnosed mental problem. I mean, really. The fact that I am legally allowed to look out for myself sometimes scares the shit out of me.
I can't cook. I probably drink too much for someone not still in college. I can barely take care of a fish. I suck at budgeting money. I have no common sense. I laugh WAY too hard when my dog farts.
Sometimes I ask someone a question and then start daydreaming and forget to listen to the answer. I hate asking people to repeat themselves so if I do this or if I don't hear someone the first time, I just pretend I did and hope they don't catch on.
Probably the worst thing I do is imitate people without realizing it. I don't know if anyone has ever noticed, or if I don't do it as much as I'm afraid I do, or maybe they do realize it and don't say anything because they think I'm "special." See, whenever I see someone making a weird face I automatically make the same one. If they smile, I smile. If they are squinting, I squint.
Even more embarrassing is when I talk to someone with an accent. I have to WILL myself not to imitate them. A British lady called our office today and I was so afraid I'd start "bloody"ing it up.
I think I just like imitating things that I think sound or look different or funny. This is probably why I will repeat movie quotes** OVER AND OVER and I JUST KEEP LAUGHING even though everyone else has long since moved on and I can tell they all want me to shut up BUT I CAN'T OK!?
It's a sickness.
I just don't have the pills for it yet.
* That's Billy Joel. Sometimes I sing it over and over because I LIKE IT AND I'M SICK.
** For instance, "Tina! Come get some ham!"