FIRST, a conversation with my roommate . . .
Me: Heidi, I have a very important and breaking announcement.
Heidi: Cannonball?
Me: No.
Heidi: What, then?
Me: I have . . . replaced . . . John Mayer.
Heidi: WHAT?!
Me: I know.
Heidi: With who?
Me: OK, so remember last year or whenever when I was obsessed with that guy Jon McLaughlin because I heard his song on Myspace and loved him immediately?
Heidi: Um, sure?
Me: Well, Target totally had his CD! I had stopped looking for it because I didn't think it was out yet, but TARGET STRIKES AGAIN!
Heidi: That's awesome.
Me: Yeah, especially since I went to buy the new Maroon 5 CD, which apparently isn't out yet.
Heidi: I know!
Me: So anyway. He's my new imaginary boyfriend and he plays the piano and we're going to meet and he'll fall in love with me* and then we'll get married and you're invited to the wedding.
Heidi: I'll be there.
Me: I hope John Mayer will be OK when he hears about this.
Heidi: I know.
Me: I mean, he really brought it on himself with the whole Jessica Simpson thing.
Heidi: Yeah, that skank!
Me: Did he expect me to just wait around?
Heidi: Exactly! You're not that kind of girl.
Me: No, I'm not.
I'm really glad Heidi indulges my delusions. Otherwise, I think I'd be very hard to put up with. OK, I already AM very hard to put up with, but I think I make up for it with dirty/funny comments and the laughter! Oh, the laughter! Last night, the laughter was plentiful, during both The Office (OK, I really, really want to geek out on the Pam and Jim situation but I will NOT . . . I'll be quiet . . . but OH MY GOD HOW GOOD WAS THAT? So good! Is the answer) and then later, after Grey's Anatomy bummed us out (seriously, wtf was that?) and we were finishing a bottle of wine, we laughed and laughed while completing more of our secret project. Oh, right, I forgot to tell you. Heidi and I have a secret project that will be unveiled very, very soon. Like, as soon as I get motivated enough to finish the final and most important step. Oh, it's so good, you guys are going to LOVE. IT. I promise. If I'm wrong, you can . . . I don't know, go to hell. Anyway, so this Jon McLaughlin guy is SO GOOD and also cute, not that it matters but it helps, you know? I was pretty obsessed with this one song last year when I found it on Myspace (true story, I go trolling for new music on Myspace . . . also, I stalk people I went to high school/college with . . . what the hell else is Myspace for, if not for the stalking?) and that song is on the CD and I love it ever so much. Heidi is not looking forward to the next couple of weeks because she's assuming I'll play that song over and over like I have in the past with other songs**. Well . . . she's right. I hate to be so predictable, but she totally called it.
I have a confession, Internets. I just did laundry but for some reason I can never find a matching pair of dress socks. So, today I am wearing socks with frolicking monkeys all over them. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a professional. Whatever, it's casual Friday, I DO WHAT I WANT.
*I don't know why I assume that once I meet my imaginary boyfriends (i.e. Jake Gyllenhaal, John Krasinski, formerly John Mayer), they will automatically fall madly in love with me. I mean, who DOESN'T fall madly in love with me as soon as they meet me? Oh, right, everyone. Well, in my head, things always go much better than that. It's nice. You guys should come visit sometime.
**I hope those are the right songs/videos . . . I didn't check the links. I trust Google. MOSTLY. Anyway. Whatever.
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