So remember a couple of months ago when I was all obsessed with that new radio station? It's OK if you don't. I can barely keep track of all my obsessions, I don't expect you to. Anyway, I'm still pretty obsessed with it. But not as much. I switch to other radio stations sometimes and now that my car actually has a CD player rather than just a tape player that makes everything sound like The Chipmunks, I'm just as likely to be listening to this as to the radio.
Let me tell you how great this radio station is. There's this song, MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF IT, called "Hey There Delilah," that I heard, I don't know, a long time ago and loved. How much did I love it? A lot. Like, OK, this one time? Heidi and I were sitting in our apartment with the balcony door open? And a car pulled up in the parking lot and was playing that song really loud and Heidi was all, "is that you?" It wasn't, though. I haven't figured out how to clone myself yet, but WHEN I DO, be afraid. Be very afraid. ANYWAY. I was going to buy the CD but then I listened to the band's other songs on Myspace and didn't like any of them and now I'm really, really glad I didn't buy the CD because I have heard from several people that it sucks because they are a whiny, whiny punk band. CLOSE CALL. Anyway, so that was months and months ago and I'm just now starting to hear the song on the regular radio. And when I say regular radio, I mean the stations that basically play the same 20 songs all day long and make me want to jam a ninja star in my ear.
I don't remember my point, or if I even had one, so OH WELL to that. Hey, remember the butt sandwich? (Also see: THIS). Well, I'm eating another one today. That was all that was left, only we had a whole other loaf sitting right next to the butt loaf and I thought about just throwing the butts away but that is WASTEFUL and there are starving children in Africa who would kill for the butts. Then I thought about maybe feeding the geese and ducks with the butts but the other night two gooses (heh) totally CHASED ME because I accidentally got too close to their babies. SO. SORRY. And that is why I am eating the butts.
This morning as I was driving to work, I went a different way and drove through a school zone which meant I had to go 20 MPH, which is basically not moving at all. And I started thinking that school zones are pointless. Really, if the kids are too stupid to get out of the middle of the road, maybe it's a good thing that cars hit them. Thinning the herd, you know? Before they can grow up and be President. (ZING!) Then I realized that I am a horrible person who should not be allowed to talk to anyone. Also, I think I stole the whole no school zone speed limit/thinning the herd thing from somewhere but I don't know where.
THEN! I remembered this conversation that Heidi and I had the other day that was ALMOST IDENTICAL to one we had almost a year ago. Did you hear that? That was my mind blowing.
Me: I have something sad to tell you.
Heidi: What?
Me: I watched Maroon 5 on SNL the other day, and they were not good.
Heidi: Oh, no!
Me: Yes. And I've seen them live and they're VERY good live.
Heidi: I know, I've seen them, too.
Me: I was sad.
Heidi: I can imagine. I don't like the lead singer, though.
Me: Oh, I do.
Heidi: He's a manwhore!
Me: I don't care.
Heidi: And he seems really full of himself.
Me: I'd still do him.
Heidi: Ew.
Me: I would.
Heidi: I know. But I think he looks like a weasel.
Me: Oh yeah? Well, I'd do that weasel SO HARD.
Heidi: Wow.
I know, right? See what I mean about how I should not be allowed to talk to people? Also, I'm sorry if conversations about butt sex and Jesus and doing weasels offend you, but you should see the conversations I DON'T post on here. Oh wait, no. I'm glad you can't see those.
This post is very linky. Which might be a good thing. It'll give you guys something to do while you're killing time at work and waiting for the three day weekend to roll around. Don't pretend you're not. I know you're doing it. I can see you. Wow. Creepy, right? I know. Sorry. OK, bye. Oh, here's something funny. Here, this too. Enjoy, slackers!
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