Saturday, May 19, 2007

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You guys, I got up so early this morning. I got up at NINE. Which, OK, is way later than I get up on any other day, but it's Saturday. Of course, I went to bed super early last night because I was tired, oh, and also really, really lame. I was watching a movie (Little Children) and almost had to stop in the middle because I kept nodding off. Not that I didn't enjoy the movie, but part of me was all, "you've read the book, this movie is happening exactly like the book did, why are you bothering to watch this?" And the answer is that I have a girl crush on Kate Winslet and would watch anything she is in. For serious. I've even seen that movie when she and her friend bash in her friend's mom's head with a rock. Weird.

So, I went and got my hair cut earlier. I think I like it, but I can't shake the suspicion that I kind of look like Susie, Calvin's nemesis from Calvin & Hobbes. However, this could be a result of me reading those books, um, all the freaking time when I was younger.

After I got MY hair cut, I went and picked up my sister because, as it turns out, she had an appointment ON THE SAME DAY, only like two hours later. I sat around with my parents, mooched a bagel and coffee, and watched something on the Discovery channel about sea otters (they fought off a CROCODILE, you guys! It was awesome!) until my sister woke up and got ready. Which she finally did. Eventually.

Me: Did you brush your hair?
Sister: YES!
Me: Oh. OK.
Dad: What difference does it make? She's on her way to get it cut.
Me: I mean, it's just all sticking up in the back.
Sister: Fine, I'll brush it again.
Mom: Don't let her cut too much of the back.
Sister: What?
Mom: It'll stick up if you do. You don't want to look like Spike Lee.
Sister: . . .
Dad: . . .
Me: Mom, Spike Lee is black and doesn't have any hair.
Mom: Oh, I meant Alfalfa.
Me: Sure, because Alfalfa . . . Spike Lee . . . totally similar.
Dad: I will look forward to seeing this on your blog later.

While I was waiting for my sister, I went to the used bookstore (books bought: Anna Karenina, Tropic of Cancer, In America) and Target to buy some floor mats for Sasha. When I was paying for my stuff, the cashier noticed that the lady in front of me had forgotten a bag. I grabbed my bags and walked quickly out to the parking lot. I saw the lady getting into her car so I ran over and started waving. I wonder what she thought I was doing at first? I mean, I doubt her first thought was "oh god, this crazy girl in the Dunder-Mifflin t-shirt and flip flops who looks like Susie Derkins is going to mug me!" so who knows what she thought I was going to do.

"Ma'am, I think you were in front of me in line in there and you forgot a bag," is what I said. Then I noticed a cashier walking up behind me with her bag. The lady thanked me, the cashier thanked me, and I no problemed them because seriously? It was mostly on the way to my car anyway. And also I'm trying this new thing where instead of acting like an asshole all the time, I do nice things for people. That never turns out bad, right? Except for that Haley Joel Osment movie. That was complete crap.