You guys, I am having the lamest Friday night ever. For serious. I came home, put my gym clothes on so I can't talk myself out of going later, and wrote an article. I don't know why I was putting it off. It was How to Plan a Yankee Swap and I'm totally an expert at it because I have seen that episode of The Office approximately FIFTY TIMES NO JOKE YOU GUYS I AM NOT KIDDING! I'm sorry. I'm just a little excited right now, what with the writing about The Office and Harry Potter tomorrow. The reason I am staying in tonight and writing articles is so I can stick my face in Harry Potter for the rest of the weekend, guilt-free. That sounded bad. I apologize.
So you may be asking yourself, "Self? Why is Jennie writing in her blog when she should be writing articles?" Well, I think you should tell yourself to shut the hell up and mind your own business. Writing in here loosens up my writing muscles so I can write stuff like How to Shred a Coconut. You have to properly warm up before that kind of thing. No joke, you guys. No. Joke.
I'm cat-sitting again for my aunt and uncle's cat, Bo. He's being a little bitch right now. Must be something about the name (haha BEAU). Just kidding. He's not being a little bitch, really, he's just lonely and confused. But he keeps tormenting Murray (formerly Phoebe) and I don't think Murray likes spending all her time under the bed. I know the reason they fight all the time is because they secretly love each other and will get together in the last scene of the movie. I wonder when the last scene of the movie is? I'd like to be prepared, so I can be ready to have my own romantic-comedy-cheesy-love-kiss in the middle of a crowded street (where it's snowing and I'm not wearing any pants and also Colin Firth is there . . . awesome). You know what I mean? I need to make sure I'm not wearing granny panties.
Wow, that got weird really fast. I don't know how that always happens. Anyway, when my aunt and cousins brought Bo over, the first thing I noticed was that Joey has grown approximately 10 feet since I last saw him. Which is . . . just . . . fantastic. I can't wait for all of my little cousins, the ones I used to babysit and who I like to torment by telling them I used to change their diapers, are all towering over me. Whatever. I've grown accustomed to my height, or lack thereof. I like climbing on counters. And I'm still taller than Katie! Ha! Also, Sammy! Double ha!
I like when Bo comes over, because he lets me pick him up. Murray doesn't let me pick her up. I used to get mad about it, but now it doesn't bother me, because I realized it must be very disconcerting to have someone just pluck you off the ground and cradle you like a little baby. I mean, how would YOU feel if a giant came along and picked you up and took you home and made you his pet? You'd probably be pretty mad, right? And you'd try to claw his eyes out? Well, then don't get mad when that's exactly what Murray does to you.
Again, that got weird really quickly. Since Joey had never been to my apartment, I gave him the thirteen second tour (because that's how long it takes to walk around our apartment). We were all standing in my room, when Katie looked at my computer and said, "Wow, Jennie, I'm glad to see you're spending your time on the Internet wisely," JUST BECAUSE I happened to be reading this (courtesy of Kat) when they came over. Pshaw. Teenagers are so judgemental.
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