Look, I realize it's one in the afternoon on a Sunday and I am all kinds of unwashed. I also realize I'm wearing Strawberry Shortcake pajama pants, stilleto boots, and no bra. I've seen the dark circles under my eyes, I know I reek of bar, I know I'm squinting at you (the sun is BRIGHT), and I'm REALLY SORRY that I forgot to give you a penny. But you know what? Even though right now I look like I stumbled out of an alley wearing clothes I found in a dumpster, I HAD FUN LAST NIGHT. Don't judge me. I slept on a third of a couch and then on the floor after a flood of Miller Lite for only THREE hours. I'd like to see what you look like after that.
PS: Same to you, Guy At the Second Window Who Gave Me My Food.