Friday, February 18, 2005

What are these wedding bells you speak of?

The other day at work someone asked me if I was married. Anyone looking at my face would have probably thought she'd asked me something more like, "Did you eat babies for lunch today?"

When I recovered, I laughed and just said no, but really I was thinking, "I'm not OLD enough to get married," apparently forgetting that when my mom was my age, she was already married and had already had me. Or was at least pregnant with me. I can't remember and seriously? I'm not doing the math right now.

Honestly, marriage never even crosses my mind. I'm not dating, I don't have a boyfriend, and I don't particularly WANT to get married anytime soon. It's not something I've really planned for. I don't know what my dream wedding is. I don't know who I'd want to be my bridesmaids. I don't know what song I want played for the first dance. The more I think about all the weddings I've been to, the more I want to just elope and not worry about all the other shit. Or maybe have a really simple, cheap ceremony and throw one huge party afterward. I don't want to be stuck in a heavy, binding dress all day, I don't care how pretty it is.

I must be missing the wedding gene. You know, that part of a woman's biological make-up that makes them yearn to try on wedding gowns or know exactly what kind of flowers they want in their bouquet. It's not that I never want to get married. I've always assumed I'd eventually get married, but I'm not going to set deadlines for myself and be all, "if I'm not married by the time I'm 30 it means I'm not good enough and NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE ME BECAUSE I AM A DEFECTIVE SPINSTER." That is such bullshit. Spinster is an evil, ugly word, and I'm getting rid of it. It no longer exists in my world. This isn't Pride and Prejudice, people. It's not even Bridget Jones. I'll get married when I'm good and ready, thank you, even if I am 70 when it happens.

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