down with the sickness

I don't know what kind of disease I have come down with, but there is one side effect that has totally and completely freaked me the hell out.

All day long, I couldn't wait to come home. This is not unusual, because I was at work and also did not feel good. However, the reason I wanted to come home? I WANTED TO CLEAN. That's right. Instead of daydreaming about the usual (boys, books, becoming a best-selling author, Lost island, Dr. McDreamy, what objects in the office I could use as weapons should zombies attack, etc.), I daydreamed about cleaning. I made lists in my head. First I'd load the dishwasher. Well, first I would have to UNLOAD the clean dishes from the dishwasher and then I could load the pile of crusty dishes that had taken up residence in my kitchen sink. And also on the counter. And on top of the microwave. I know. I'm disgusting.

After the kitchen, I planned on tackling the laundry, the trash, the bathroom, then I'd Swiffer all non-carpeted surfaces and THEN, best of all, I would spray Febreze all over the apartment, including myself and Phoebe. If drinking Febreze would cause me to ooze it through my pores, meaning I'd smell fresh and clean all the time even without showering, I would have a glass of Febreze sitting in front of me right now. Mmm. You can't see me (I hope), but I am sniffing the bottle right now.

I'll have you know that I accomplished all of the things on my imaginary list, except for the Swiffering because I am out of those little Swiffer pads. So this means all of my daydreaming about cleaning came true. Which, in theory, means that some day Dr. McDreamy will walk into the bookstore that I own to buy my best-selling book and then we'll move to Hawaii.

Where we will promptly be attacked by zombies.

Hey, you take the good, you take the bad.