Against my better judgment, I have been watching American Idol this season. I don't know why. I don't particularly like any of the contestants. Except Katherine. She's awesome. I have problems with a lot of them, actually. I can't stand Bucky, mostly because I think he sucks and I can't understand why he's made it so far. Ace takes douchebagary to new levels. I say this even though I thought he was kind of hot, you know, before he opened his mouth and started talking/singing. Elliot needs some braces, STAT, but otherwise I like him. I would like Taylor more if he didn't stand like he'd either shit himself or was trying not to shit himself while he is singing. I liked Chris until last night, because he sang Creed and now he is DEAD to me. DEAD. Do you hear me? I hate Creed. Ok, that's not fair. I hate Scott Stapp. I mean, who doesn't, right? But I've hated Scott Stapp before it was popular to hate that Jesus-loving douchebag. Actually, I don't think it was ever unpopular to hate Scott Stapp, so never mind. He is the biggest douche to have ever douched in the history of douchery.
I've also been enjoying The Amazing Race, especially after the trainwreck that was Family Edition. I think if I was going to try out for a reality show, it would either be this one or Big Brother. I know those two seem completely different. Because they are. But hear me out. In TAR (that is what "people in the know" call The Amazing Race, by the way), you get to travel all over the world and they GIVE YOU MONEY to do so. Big Brother, however, is probably the easiest reality show to reward the winner with money EVER, because you basically sit around all day and the biggest punishment you can get is that you have to eat PB&J for a week. Big deal! I love PB&J and I willingly eat it probably more than I should ALL THE TIME.
Um. Anyway. I don't know what it is about me that makes me hate people that a lot of others seem to love (Barbra Streisand, John Grisham, Oprah, Nicholas Sparks, GWB (hee!)), but I cannot stand those freaking hippies. Oh. My. God. If they stopped TRYING so hard, I think they would be OK. But they are all about "look how funny and laid back we are! oh we are so goofy! we have long hair and do funny accents and frolic and cavort about so playfully! oh Phil, laugh at us, love us!" It drives me nuts. Also? I cannot stand the frat guys. But I don't think I am alone in this. Almost everything that comes out of their mouth makes me want to permanently remove their balls, but really is there any way to do that that wouldn't be permanent? I don't think so. That sounds like a question for Google.
I mean, I try be fair and to remind myself that if I was videotaped for 24 hours a day, I would probably (heh, probably?) end up saying some stuff I wouldn't want on TV. But the Douche Brothers (I could be talking about the hippies or the frat guys here, so tricky) willingly say things IN THEIR INTERVIEWS, the part they KNOW will be shown on TV, that I just cannot believe they don't know would make people want to castrate them. Or pull out their tongues. Or stab them in the stomach with a barbecue fork.
As you can tell, I have given a lot of thought to this.
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