Monday, April 03, 2006

don't chew gum while singing, or, how Kelly Clarkson almost killed me

I almost died today. There I was, driving to the office, innocently chewing some gum when Kelly Clarkson (yes, THE Kelly Clarkson) came on the radio singing "A Moment Like This." I love that song too much NOT to sing it loudly and exuberantly while wildly flinging my arms about. And I refuse to be embarrassed by this. So, I'm singing, ok, shouting along to the radio and mid-screech, my gum slips down the back of my throat. Now, I'm coughing and clawing at my throat and trying not to swerve into oncoming traffic and long story short (heehee) I'm fairly certain that that piece of gum is currently residing in my left lung. Mmm. Minty.

I'm also in the middle of moving-planning-frenzy, which, really, is one of the worst frenzies you can be a part of. I hate moving. Don't get me wrong, I love our new apartment. I can't wait to live there. I just wish I could be living there without the actual moving part. Also, I suppose that since I am moving in with someone, I should be enjoying the solitude while I can.

Here is a list of things I have come up with so far that I will no longer be allowed to do once I have a roommate, at least probably not without consequences of some kind:

Walk around naked
Sleep naked, unless my door locks
Walk around with my MP3 player on, singing at the top of my lungs
Commandeer the television and DVD player to watch Arrested Development for five hours straight
Ditto The Office
And also Pride and Prejudice
Leave ten pairs of shoes in the living room . . . you think I'm exaggerating, but that is exactly how many pairs I found in my living room yesterday while cleaning
Leave dirty dishes in the sink for a week . . . or longer
Leave expired food products in the fridge for a month . . . OK, or longer
Get the mail, open it, and leave it in little piles around the apartment, thus forgetting about any bills until I get around to actual cleaning
Pay bills late
Empty all the ice cube trays and then leave them by the sink for days (yes, Dad, I still do this, all of your work and punishment FAILED TO BREAK ME)
Leave books piled precariously on the kitchen counter, dining room table, back of the toilet, endtables, on top of the TV

I hope Heidi doesn't read this before April 22nd because by then IT WILL BE TOO LATE to get away from me and my annoying habits. I'm sure there are more that I've forgotten. I don't care, though, I'm excited to have a roommate again. It's always more fun to drink with another person, you know, besides Phoebe.

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