If you can prove that diversity will help my sales, well then I'll go elephant riding with James Earl Jones

Dear Lady with the Gold Tooth Who Knocked on our Door and Tried To Sell Me Magazines So You Could Get Your "Second Chance" at Life,

While I applaud you trying to turn your life around, don't for one second think that asking me if I modeled my haircut after Dora the Explorer is going to make me want to buy your magazines.

SERIOUSLY? Dora the Explorer? Really?

Sincerely,
Dora, I mean Jennie

PS: Stop calling me "girlfriend."