Dear Lady with the Gold Tooth Who Knocked on our Door and Tried To Sell Me Magazines So You Could Get Your "Second Chance" at Life,
While I applaud you trying to turn your life around, don't for one second think that asking me if I modeled my haircut after Dora the Explorer is going to make me want to buy your magazines.
SERIOUSLY? Dora the Explorer? Really?
Dora, I mean Jennie
PS: Stop calling me "girlfriend."