I'm tired of paying for my own meals, concert tickets, and bar tab, and I think my family is starting to worry that there is something wrong with me, so I am now taking applications for The Perfect Boyfriend. Please provide:
hair color/eye color
favorite episode of The Office (that's right, I went there)
and most importantly, how would you deal with me when I am drunk/PMSing/going batshit crazy (sometimes all at the same time)?
Applications can either be e-mailed or left in the comments for my perusal. If you are our hot waiter from Elsa's last night or especially THIS MAN, you don't need to apply, just show up at my apartment.
That is all.