Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Did you hear? Somebody totally rocked the house and got me the best present I’ve ever gotten.

My birthday celebration has come and gone. I guess I could be all sad that my friends totally ditched me and went home JUST because they had to go back to work. How selfish is that? I mean, come on. But it was honestly one of the best weekends EVER in the history of the world and also other worlds that have not been discovered yet.

On Friday, I finally did a little mechanical bull investigation and discovered that the only bar rumored to have a mechanical bull did INDEED have one . . . but it was broken. Truly tragic. So, instead, we went to a karaoke bar. And I sang. Guys. I never sing. I do not like making an exhibition of myself in public and I try to avoid the spotlight at all times, because when I am in front of people and they're all looking at me and waiting for me to do something, I get embarrassed and my face gets all red and then some asshole (Mary) tells me my face is getting red and then it gets more and more red until I explode or fall through the floor because my face got so hot that I melted. That, my friends, was the longest, most incoherent sentence I have ever written. Sober.

That said, we totally rocked "Ring of Fire." And when I say totally rocked, I mean Johnny Cash probably rolled over in his grave. Sorry, Johnny, but you know I heart you.

You know what is an asshole move? Putting someone's name in to sing karaoke while they are making friends in the bathroom with someone named Pam, who will later breakdance on the karaoke stage. In her track pants.

Saturday was WittFest, and we all spent the majority of the time sitting around and recovering from Friday night. I don't want to say things got out of control on Friday, but I have several bruises, some of which I got when someone dropped me. On the cement. Long story. Probably. I think they broke me, though, because I woke up Saturday at 8:30 AM (!!!), Sunday at 8 AM, and then could not sleep Sunday night. My sleep is broken. Help.

Saturday was also the day that The Dirtiest Game of Either Or was played, like EVER. The game is simple. Someone says two things, like "Peanut butter or Jelly" and everyone has to pick one. The person who came up with the category then says the one they choose and whoever DIDN'T say that one has to take a drink. Easy? It is really fun, even when certain engineers try to implement more logic and rules to a game that has pretty much one rule and that is LAUGHTER. Or something. Anyway, things got a little out of control and I think the game broke my brain. I can't stop saying inappropriate things to people I shouldn't be saying them to, like when someone asked me why I was wearing long sleeves yesterday? I told them it was because my arm was bruised from Friday and then? I told them that now I know what an abused wife must feel like. See? Domestic violence is not an appropriate work topic. The filter is no longer there and let's face it, the filter never really worked that well before.

You know, this is probably only interesting to the people who were there this weekend, so I hope the two of you enjoyed it. Hee.

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