When I was in the 6th grade I was a finalist in our school spelling bee. I misspelled, in front of the entire school, the word failure.

I was watching Friends last night and I got to thinking*. I don't know if watching Friends had anything to do with it. Well, I guess it did, because it was the one where Joey and Rachel make out in Barbados or something and I got to wondering how two friends end up together. Is it a matter of convenience, because you already know a lot about them and you obviously enjoy being around each other? Or like, "oh, I'm around this person anyway so we might as well have some sex and babies?" Um, Ross, Rachel, I'm looking at you two. You too, Monica and Chandler. Ok, I'll stop talking about Friends now.

Also, why are these huge life-changing hook-ups on TV shows and movies always preceded by some long talk about feelings or some big, rehearsed speech about blah, blah, I've always loved you and I always will, etc. McGeorgie, you are guilty of this, don't try and deny it. Yes, I just addressed a made-up doctor by a made-up nickname SO WHAT. These big speeches always come when the person has reached the end of their rope, when they just can't hold their feelings in ANY LONGER, but I don't think I've ever gotten to that point. In my experience, the things I'm dying to say never EVER end up coming out of my mouth and if they do, chances are I've been drinking and if THAT happens I usually don't remember saying it and if I DO remember saying it I can always use the Perfect Golden Excuse . . . "haha, oh man, I was so drunk," which is usually followed by "I totally don't remember that" even if I TOTALLY DO. But really, I probably don't.

No, I have not been drinking right now.

It's funny, though. Those big, rehearsed speeches are always my favorite part of the movie, even though they never happen in real life. Not to me, anyway. Actually, if someone told me they liked me (which, seriously, how often does that happen? NEVER) in such a way I'd probably start giggling. Or compare it to one of those speeches in a movie and start thinking, "why aren't you talking like Mr. Darcy?," or "that's not the way I would have written it."

That doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Even if I will be mentally editing your words.

*I KNOW, just shut up.