Last night, my roommate and I got a little carried away at the grocery store. But we had excuses! We hadn't gone grocery shopping in a long time. A long time! Like a month! And we were out of food! Except for hot dogs! But you can't survive on hot dogs! Well, you can! But it's unhealthy!
Um, yeah, anyway. So last night, armed with a list, our coupons (shut it) and a Kroger Plus Card, we went to the grocery. And oh what a magical time it was. Ok, not really. BUT. Somehow between the two of us, we filled up an entire cart. Like, it was almost overflowing. We were THOSE people that you see in line and you don't get behind them because of how much shit they have in their cart. You will see why the cart was about to topple over from exhaustion later. I guess I could tell you now, but I don't feel like it. But let's be honest, I'll probably forget later. Basically, we bought a lot of food. Good story, right? And when the total came to $107.17 I almost pooped myself (in a good way) and when I saw we saved almost $50 because we clip coupons like old ladies I almost pooped myself again (in an even better way).
While we were in the cereal aisle, a little girl, maybe 2 or 3, saw some box with Nemo on it and she spent at least five minutes standing there and pointing and shouting, "Memo! [aside: that is pronounced "MEEmo, not mem-o"; also yes, I know I'm a tool THANKS] MEMO! I FOUND MEMO! MEMO!" It was like she was stuck. And needed to be kicked. Neither Heidi nor I kicked her, though, because we still had a lot of grocery shopping to do and didn't want to be thrown out of this particular Kroger because it's like five minutes from our apartment.
And now, because I'm lazy and don't feel like telling the rest of the story, as if a trip to the grocery could be classified a story . . . Conversations with my Roommate:
Me: We never found Snack Packs.
Heidi: We must find them!
Me: Where are they?
Heidi: The baking stuff aisle?
Me: Um, I don't see them.
Heidi: Here they are!
Me: Yes! Gimme my snack pack!
Heidi: They only have the chocolate flavor.
Me: Who cares, they are delicious. Hey, how many should we get?
Heidi: I don't know. Remember how last time they didn't have any and we were without snack packs for a whole month?
Me: Yeah. It was horrible. How about four packs?
Heidi: . . .
Me: . . .
Heidi: Better throw in some more.
Me: Good call. They ARE 10 for $10.
And that is why, at this very moment, our apartment is home to 40 cups of chocolate pudding. Yes, it is EXCESSIVE but that is the American way.
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