Grandma: You should come visit me** . . . you can bring your girlfriend.
Me: My what?
Grandma: The girl you live with.
Me: My roommate, Grandma. If you call her my girlfriend that sounds like something else entirely.
Family Member: Yeah, that's how rumors get started.
*I'm not, though, I just seem to repel the opposite sex
**No one but grandmas can inject so much guilt into one sentence
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