Monday, September 25, 2006

Conversations With My Roommate EXTRAVAGANZA

While watching America's Next Top Model:

Me: Miss J is kind of unfortunate looking.
Heidi: That's because he's stuck between being a man and a woman.
Me: He's walking the line. Just like Johnny Cash.
Heidi: Only Johnny Cash's line goes to StraightLand and Miss J's line goes to . . . aswirl aswirl!
Me: I never thought I'd bring up Johnny Cash during an episode of America's Next Top Model.
Heidi: Yeah, I think I just heard him roll over in his grave.
Johnny Cash: Seriously, girls, I'm tired and you talk about me all the time. Leave me alone.
Heidi: This is all Joaquin Phoenix's fault.

Fun in the kitchen:

Heidi: Did you pack your lunch yet?
Me: No.
Heidi: Oh, I'll get another loaf of bread out of the freezer.
Me: I think we're out.
Heidi: Already? Well, there's enough bread for one more sandwich.
Me: That's it?
Heidi: Unless you count the butts. And one of them is really little.
Me: I'll eat the butts.
Heidi: I don't like the butts.
Me: I'm too cheap NOT to eat the butts.
Heidi: My dad likes the butt.

That's when I laid on the floor for five minutes laughing and then I think I passed out a little.

And finally, today at work and totally not while we were supposed to be working because that would be wrong wrong wrong and no I DO NOT spend my work day e-mailing my friends, chatting on Gmail, and posting things to my blog and if you think otherwise I have just one thing to say and that is ERRONEOUS! Erroneous on both counts! Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about either so anyway:

(this was through e-mail, obviously, because Heidi and I do not work at the same place . . . probably a good thing)

Me: Do you think I could be a flight attendant?

Heidi: Um, no. You have to wear heels, push a cart, and serve drinks to people while staying on your feet and not spilling anything on yourself.*

Me: Haha! But can you imagine the pratfalls? Maybe I'd meet someone famous. Like John Krasinski!

Heidi: You might, but then they might be angry that you got them wet.

Me: No, I really think that if I spilled something on John Krasinski he would think, "my, who is this charming klutz of a girl! I must impregnate her immediately!"**

Heidi: You are dreaming big today.

Me: Well, I need something to occupy my time.

*I really think she's implying that I might be clumsy and I'm not sure where she's getting that

**I'm not really delusional, I just love me some John Krasinski and no I am also not stalking him***

***I'm not doing the footnote thing all the time to be cute, it's just that I'm too lazy to work this stuff into a proper entry

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