Run to Target to return a pair of pants. After returning pants, wander the aisles and lose an hour. Heidi tries to convince you to buy some army sheets and after telling her to "oh shut up already," pose for photos: 
Go home to write How To articles about coconuts while Heidi goes to the mall. Read blogs instead of working:
Procrastinate by changing sheets:
Replace old, boring sheets with SUPER FUN PIRATE SHEETS (bought at Target instead of army sheets . . . I mean seriously):
Booty! Surrender it now!
Pirates! Arg! Don't be jealous, you can get these at Target, too:
Finish the evening by learning how to be really, really ridiculously good-looking:
Oh and also spend way too much time taking pictures and posting them on your stupid blog.Seriously, who WOULDN'T want to hang out with me? ALSO, someone just played Ring of Fire on their Perfect 10, making this a perfect Friday night. Or something. I don't know. Whatever.
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