I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.

I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich right now. Don't be jealous. I think the peanut butter and jelly sandwich might be the most perfect sandwich in the history of sandwiches. I would eat one for every meal if I didn't think I'd start to suffer from some sort of nutrition deficiency. When I was little, I didn't even bother with jelly. Just peanut butter and lots of it. Like, so much that when I took a bite of the sandwich I couldn't really open my mouth much until I gulped down half a glass of milk. Mmm, PB&J and milk. Man, I wish I had some milk right now.

This morning at work, in the span of five minutes I was called both "young lady," and "little lady," by different people. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I've been called worse, that's for sure, but I can't help but think "little lady" is unnecessary. Other ways I have been greeted at work? "Hey, girl," a salute, and "here comes trouble."

So I didn't really sleep last night. I'm not sure why. It could be all the caffeine I mainlined yesterday in order to stay awake at work. Or it could be that my body has just given up and succumbed to my brain's will to stay awake as long as possible. You win, brain. THIS TIME. But wait til Saturday when I will kill parts of you with alcohol. THEN we will see who is the one with the willpower! Or at least the vodka.

Even though I didn't really sleep last night, I still got out of bed late. Of course. Also? I found out that I don't have time to shave my legs when I get up that late. I'm not sure why I felt the need to shave my legs this morning. I thought about wearing a skirt because I really need to do laundry and skirts are practically all that I have left. But then I remembered I have a giant bruise on my shin from Friday night. I'm not sure how it got there, but it is big and all sorts of interesting colors. I'm used to finding random bruises all over my body. Not because Heidi beats me or anything, but because I have a tendency to run into walls and trip over shoes or Phoebe or air. True story.