Monday, June 18, 2007

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Sometimes when I'm bored, I run different scenarios in my head. These scenarios can vary from who I might run into on the way to the vending machine at work to what might happen if terrorists or ninjas or pirates stormed the building and I happened to be in the copy room. If I was in the copy room, the chances are great that I could sneak out the window and run down the street OR I could ask myself, "what would Chuck Norris do?" and the answer to that is KICK ASS. True story? Right there I almost wrote "kiss ass" instead of "kick ass." Not sure what that means. Anyway. The scenarios are hardly ever about something that might possibly happen, but they keep me entertained. Kind of like I'm watching a movie in my head, starring me and sometimes people I know and often Jake Gyllenhaal.

Yesterday, my dad was telling me how he'd seen something on TV about a zombie convention in New York where people dress up as zombies (OK?) and we decided if I'd been there I probably would have run away screaming about how I'd TOLD everyone the zombies would one day attack and I'd probably end up getting arrested for starting a riot or stabbing a faux-zombie in the head with an ice pick or something. I'm not sure why I have an ice pick in this scenario. Sometimes things show up in scenarios that you're not expecting and you just have to go with it.

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