gay, not interested, girlfriend

I really think my radar is broken. Or missing. Or something. Because, seriously? Seriously. Sigh.

Anyway, I found out this morning that another one of my friends will soon be engaged. I can't tell you who. It's a secret. Until later. Then I'll tell you. Stop bugging me, I'm not gonna tell you who it is right now. For real, you sound a little desperate. Leave me alone. God! You're pathetic, stop asking! Go away! Seriously! I hate you!

Right, so this one was less of a surprise than the last one. And while I am really happy and excited for each and every one of my lovely friends and their lovely fiances, and as much as I really, really don't want to get married right now (seriously, maybe tomorrow, OK? mama's tired) I can't stop that little, niggling thought in the back of my stupid brain that says, "Why doesn't anyone want to marry ME?! What's wrong with me?! Seriously! Marry me, assholes!"

Oh. Maybe it's because I call people assholes. Eh.

So. Phase Whatever of the Craigslist Project starts tomorrow. I'm still not sure how I feel about it. There is another little thought in the back of my stupid brain that keeps insisting that this is NOT HOW IT'S DONE. You don't meet that "special someone" (I hate that phrase with the fire of a thousand suns, so I'm still not sure why I keep using it) on the internet (no offense to my male readers, I heart you . . . you, too, female readers). The only people I am going to find on the Internets are psychos and pedophiles*. Nerdy pedophiles, at that. And they're the worst kind.

*I know that's not entirely true and it's a really outdated way to think but I'm tired so SHH.