If the microwave goes, I'm outta here

Slowly but surely, all of our kitchen appliances are turning against us. First there was the oven knob incident. Then there was my coffeemaker that decided to start turning itself off in the middle of brewing coffee. THEN there is our dishwasher, which we've had maintenance look at twice and which still fails to get the dishes clean 76 percent of the time. I totally made that statistic up, by the way. I hope you're not offended.

Anyway, the latest appliance to turn its back on us is our refrigerator. Which is like the most important appliance in the kitchen! That which keeps our beers cold! We opened our freezer this morning and noticed most of the meat (hee) wasn't frozen. That's a problem, you know. Upon further inspection, I noticed that the entire back wall of the freezer was covered in a frosty ice sculpture. Then we realized that our fridge wasn't keeping the food cold, either. We had no idea how long it'd had been like that, so we immediately called maintenance. While waiting, I googled and googled to see if there was anything we could do. Turns out, we could defrost the freezer! Doesn't that sound fun? It's not, really. Technically, you can just turn it off and leave the door open and wait, but I am impatient, so I employed some other techniques, such as boiling a pot of water, placing it in the freezer and shutting the door, chipping away at the ice with various, sharp objects (which, it turns out, you're not really supposed to do), and my FAVORITE, aiming a hairdryer at the ice and watching it melt. I did this until Heidi suggested that maybe it wasn't the best idea to be holding an electrical appliance in an ever-expanding puddle of water. Probably true.

The guy finally came and fixed our fridge, but not before telling us that everything, aside from some stuff we'd salvaged from the freezer, had gone bad. Which gave Heidi and I an excuse to go out for dinner, something we probably would have done anyway only now we didn't have to feel guilty about it.

I tried to look on the bright side. Tomorrow is when Operation Fat Whore, No More starts (we gave ourselves a week to adjust to 2007 and also we even have a weight/exercise chart SUCK ON THAT) so having no food in the house and also no money to buy groceries is actually a good thing.