During the Golden Globes
Me: Ooh, Jake Gyllenhaal!
Heidi: Yay!
Me: Hilary Swank needs to get her gross vagina away from him.
Heidi: Gross vagina?
Me: You heard me.
Me: I like Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Heidi: Me too. She was really good in Stranger Than Fiction.
Me: I'm going to write her a letter.
Heidi: You should.
Me: "Dear Maggie, your brother is hot."
Heidi: "Could you please introduce me?"
Me: "Because I would like to hit that."
Me: Oh, Jake Gyllenhaal, I wish I could quit you.
Heidi: Haha.
Me: Not really, though.
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