Cause the ice melts, and then it's like . . . second drink!

We had a guest this weekend. His name is Bo and he poos in a box and licks his butt. He's a cat. In case you didn't follow. I wasn't sure. He and Phoebe didn't get along. They hissed at each other and he made a really weird growling noise and I didn't even know cats growled. So I learned something new this weekend, which hardly ever happens. There was one minor setback, however, in that Phoebe puked on my bed. In my sheets. Like IN the sheets. I'm not sure how she did it because I had to pull back the comforter before I even saw it. And so, that is why I was doing laundry at 1:30 in the morning after Heidi and I polished off a bottle of wine while making jello shots (CLASSY!) and why I slept in my bed like this all weekend:


Sure, I could have made my bed but what if she threw up in it again? I'd just have to unmake it and remake it and last night let's just say I would have slept anywhere. When I woke up this morning the clean sheets were balled up next to my head, my pillows were unused except for the body pillow which I was half curled up with and half using as a blanket. Again I say CLASSY. I'd say Nancy's St. Patrick's Day party was a success. We were home by 12:30. I think. I sent many a text message and called the majority of my phone book (including our apartment phone), proving once again that I should hide my cell phone from myself if I'm planning on drinking.

Today, as I was driving Steve, Nick, and Heidi to get their cars, Nick produced the most ungodly smell in the history of farts. It was the worst thing I have ever smelled and once in college our apartment basement flooded with sewage. SEWAGE. And this smell was worse. We were at a stoplight and we immediately rolled all the windows down and stuck our heads out into the fresh, cold air. The lady in the car next to us rolled her window down and asked if we were OK and I would have said to her, "No, ma'am, my car has been filled with poisonous gas," only I was laughing too hard to breathe, let alone talk.