Lids down, I count sheep, I count heartbeats, the only thing that counts is that I won't sleep, I count down, I look around

Well, it's been a while since I've talked about not sleeping. Hasn't it? It has. Thanks for agreeing with me. Sometimes I go through periods where I don't sleep. Unless I drink profusely before bed and not even that works every time. Believe me, I've tried. I'm kidding. Maybe.

You know how sometimes after a night of drinking you wake up and your mouth tastes all fuzzy? Or like someone (hopefully you) threw up in it and then you forgot to brush your teeth? So you've got this ungodly taste in your mouth and it also feels like you've been sucking on cotton all night?

Anyway, that's what my brain feels like right now.

I'm not sure why I don't sleep sometimes. Maybe it's mental. OK, I'm sure it's mental. Heh, mental. Or I need to cut back on the caffeine (NO GOD NO) but I wouldn't NEED the caffeine in the first place if my brain would just shut up long enough to let me fall to sleep. Here are some of the reasons I couldn't sleep last night:

• I slept too late on Sunday, because I couldn't fall to sleep Saturday night.
• Phoebe was purring too loud.
• I got too hot under the covers so I had to take my pants off and then I got too cold and had to put socks on and then I got too hot again so I threw the comforter on the floor and then I got cold again OH MY GOD STOP THE MADNESS.
• I kept having weird dreams (nothing new there) and after each one I'd wake up, sit up, and say, (loudly, for Phoebe's benefit? I don't know) "What the fuck is wrong with me?"
• I start my new job on Wednesday and I am having paranoid delusions that they're going to call me Tuesday night and shriek, "HAHA JUST KIDDING!" and then hang up and I will cry, cry, cry all night long (but not sleep).
• The moonlight was too bright . . . SERIOUSLY. It was shining in my window and it woke me up because it was too damn bright. Normally, I love a full moon (heh) . . . it's all pretty and bright and romantic but not when I'm trying to sleep because I have to get out of bed and close the curtains and then I freeze because I'm not wearing pants (see above).

That's right, moonlight woke me up. I'm a very light sleeper, which is funny (not haha funny) because Heidi is such a deep sleeper. There are are mornings that I wake up because I hear both her alarm and TV through her closed door and my closed door and she can sleep right through it. I don't know how she does it but I'm totally jealous. This one morning as I was leaving I passed her room and the TV was blaring and bright and her alarm that sounds like you're standing INSIDE an actual church bell was ringing and ringing AND RINGING and she was dead asleep.

Oh my god, this is so boring. I'm sorry (not really). Maybe if I read this over and over I'll be able to fall asleep. I should probably wait until I get home, though.