Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Bite my shiny metal ass, Week!

I wish I had a dollar for every time I realized I'd been walking around for hours with my fly down. Because I would have A LOT of dollars. On average, I'd earn at least three dollars every day which is an extra $90 a month which would almost cover my liquor and beer budget. I kid, I kid. It wouldn't even come close. ZING!

I don't know.

I'm blogging from work right now. Ooooooh! Don't tell. Actually, it's my lunch break so I think it's OK. I mean, I have been working hard ALL MORNING and the least they can do is let me SPEW NONSENSE ALL OVER THE INTERNET FOR AN HOUR.

Breathe, Jennie. It's been a long week and I feel like it's getting longer instead of shorter. What kind of strange non-ending-week wormhole have I fallen into? I would like out. Thank you.

Remember the other day when I was all "April is going to be great!" You know, as I was typing it I kept thinking, "Hmm, maybe you are tempting fate here. This may come back to bite you in the ass." And then this week happened and my brain was all, "JENNIFER LYNN!" because I did a bad thing and when you do bad things you get BOTH names. It's true. Ask anyone.

So to rectify this mistake, I'm going to go ahead and say it: April sucks balls. I think it just may be the worst month ever (with the exception of my birthday, which is an occasion for everyone to celebrate and drink and fall down, in honor of ME because I like to celebrate and drink and fall down) and I am going to hole up in my room for the rest of the month in case any other bad things should happen. Bad news is easier to take when you're taking it from the comfort of your own bed. That sounds kind of dirty but it's not.

Monday night Heidi and I went to the gym and worked out and then after dinner we decided to take a walk. We wanted to enjoy the nice weather because it's supposed to snow tomorrow. That's right, it was almost 80 degrees yesterday and today it is 40. Dear Ohio, you can suck it.

Anyway, I figured out how to make sure I sleep through the night. All I need to do is work out until I want to kill myself on the elliptical machine and THEN take a long walk so when I get in bed I am completely exhausted. It would also really help if I didn't sleep at all the night before because of any of the following reasons: moonlight too bright (it's true, ask Heidi), wind kept blowing the blinds around all loud and obnoxious-like, Bo kept trying to sleep directly on top of my legs no matter how many times I kicked him off, Bo and Phoebe hissing and fighting over precious bed territory.

Yeah. Good times. Would it be weird if I used the rest of my lunch hour to curl up under my desk and take a nap? No? Awesome.


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