I am being dramatic. Nothing bad has happened to me this week. In fact, good things happened over the weekend, so I don't know where this bad mood came from (lie #2 - I know exactly where). Also, if all goes well, I'm getting a new car tomorrow, so I should be happy, right? Right.
Did you hear me, Internets? A NEW CAR! Said like Bob Barker. It's not REALLY a new car. But it is a mere two years old, which is younger than Phoebe. Not that I would condone trying to ride Phoebe to work. I tried that once and she bit me and then pooped on my pillow (lie # 3 - that never happened).
I do have one legitimate reason for being sad (not that the other reason isn't legitimate, but it is much less tangible and much more dramatic and involves WAY more obsessing and being a stupid stupid girl than I am comfortable with . . . oh man, am I being vague OR WHAT? Ha and also awesome) and that is that I have to get rid of my old car. Tealy. Oh, Tealy! I am not lying when I say to you that I may shed a tear tomorrow when I hand over the keys. We've been through a lot together. I have had this car since 1999 when I was still IN HIGH SCHOOL. It came to college with me. I drove it to Cleveland, Chicago, Michigan, and other places I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER. I've been stranded in this car, cried in this car, laughed in this car, been laughed AT in this car, driven around aimlessly for hours in this car, been kissed in this car, and BEST OF ALL I have sung along to Journey in this car! JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL! LIVING IN A LOOOOONELY WORLD!
Oh man, I'm gonna cry FOR REAL. You guys know how I never get rid of stuff? That includes stuff in my car. I cleaned it out tonight because I won't have time tomorrow after work before I pick up my new car and you would not BELIEVE the shit I found in there. Here is a list of things I found in both the car and the trunk, you disbelievers:
- jumper cables
- a quart of oil
- three ice scrapers
- wait, no, four ice scrapers
- a cell phone charger for a phone I haven't had in at least four years
- two old license plates
- a blanket
- a Harry Potter lightening bolt temporary tattoo
- CASSETTE TAPES . . . no wait, cassette MIX tapes that I made IN HIGH SCHOOL (!!!)
- a fake Furby (named Hootenanny by ME) that I got in high school in a McDonald's happy meal
- a keychain from the library I worked at in high school
- a pair of shoes
- the tassel from my high school graduation cap
- two pairs of sunglasses that I thought I'd lost
- lots of loose change
- a YoYo
That's it, other than a lot of trash. OH WAIT, I forgot the best thing! I found a letter I'd written to my friend in MALAWI AFRICA that I forgot to send. It's from April 9th of last year (written at 11:37 AM if LastYearJennie can be believed) and of course I read it, out loud, to Heidi because it's like a time capsule. FROM LAST YEAR. Dum dum DUM!
You wanna hear my favorite part of the letter? It is either this:
I have this letter I wrote back in late February to send you but it's on my computer and my printer is out of ink. You'd think this would be relatively easy to fix, and you'd be right, but for a variety of reasons I just haven't gotten a new one yet. They're kind of expensive, I haven't had time, and I'm moving soon so I might as well wait. Long story short, I'm a bad friend blahdeebloobloo.
Wanna hear something funny? I haven't done my taxes yet. Heehee! My dad flipped out when I told him that. He kept saying that I'd forget to do them but that just goes to show he is not a true procrastinator. A real procrastinator doesn't forget things they have to do; they just like the excitement of waiting until the last minute. True, I wish I hadn't left them until now, since I'm busy getting ready to move, but I didn't know I was moving in January. Or February, even. Besides, back then I was SURE I'd have my taxes done by now. Can we say delusional? I can. Out loud.
So, I still haven't gotten a new ink cartridge for my printer. Also, I'm pretty sure it was around April 9th when I did my taxes this year. So that's it. I'm done trying to fight it. The procrastination can take over and do what it wants and maybe I will finally have peace.
This is the longest entry ever. You'd think I'd delete some of it but you'd be wrong. Anyway, I just remembered how much I like writing letters. Like real letters, not just e-mails, although I do enjoy a good e-mail. Or chat. But real letters are fun, what with the handwriting and the having to know how to spell things and whatnot. Good times. Who wants to be my pen pal? If no one volunteers, I'm going to be forced to write letters to random people and they'll be all, "who is this Jennie and why does she keep calling me Internets?"