Sunday, April 08, 2007

Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.

Today was a big day. I went to Kroger. AND the gas station. It was the first time I'd left the apartment since Thursday, unless you count yesterday when I went out to check the mail. Which I don't. So there. I even wore JEANS to the store. Not makeup, though, so I probably scared some small children or gave an elderly man a heart attack, but I'm sure they're better now. I don't think you understand how scary I look. Sure, I showered, but I'm about ten shades paler than I normally am and folks? That is almost transparent. Also? Despite the fact that I've been sleeping most of the weekend, the dark circles under my eyes have dark circles. True story.

I had only been driving for a few minutes when I realized that maybe someone who has been surviving on water, toast, Jello, and chicken broth for the past three days shouldn't be driving. Eh, whatever, I'm still alive. All that walking and carrying, though? Totally wore me out. I walked up the stairs to our apartment and then went straight into my bedroom and fell face down on the bed. Once I'd collected myself, I got up and put my pajamas back on and flopped down on the couch for a good hour. I was supposed to go home for dinner tonight, because it's Easter (not sure if you realized that, but it is) and my mom was making all sorts of good food. But seeing as how walking from my bedroom to the kitchen requires a tiny break and I have no appetite (not even for MASHED POTATOES . . . DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT A BIG DEAL THAT IS? DO YOU?! I LOVE MASHED POTATOES!!), I thought I'd just stay home. My mom promised there'd be leftovers and I could come over when they had them and then I secured my spot in Hell (I think I've got front row seats by now) with the words, "Yeah, we can just resurrect Jesus another day."

So. Anyway. Heidi got guilted into going home even though she is still sick, so I've been all alone since yesterday afternoon. Unless you count Dr. House, Miranda Priestly, and Holden Caulfield. Sure, they're a cranky bunch, but when I'm sick*? So am I.

Oh and since it is Easter and all, I give you . . . Giant Jesus:

Yeah, it's off-center but what do you want? I took it from the window of a moving car. Give me a break. See? Cranky.

*also other times

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