Happy St. Patrick's Day, Internets. Is the Internets Irish? Probably. Everyone is Irish today. LIARS. I mean, whatever, say what you want to say, that's fine. What do I care? Despite my pale skin and dark hair and light eyes and freckles GALORE, as far as I know I have no Irish blood whatsoever. Unless someone's not telling me something. Mom? Dad?
Anyway. This weekend I may or may not have watched all three Indiana Jones movies. But, see, I had to. Because I watched Once and it ripped my heart out. And then set it on fire. And then hit it with a sledgehammer until the ashes were all smashed into the ground. It did not feel good. After that happened, I clearly needed to watch something that would not make me want to jump out the window. Which is why I watched Indiana Jones, because that doesn't make me want to jump out the window. Unless, of course, I'm imitating his high-flying antics. See how that works?
Here is my problem with Indiana Jones: oh, right, I don't have one. I do, however, have a problem with some of the women in the films. OK, really, just the one woman. How annoying is Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom? I mean, that's obviously the worst of the Indiana Jones movies, and most of it is her fault. WOW. It's always pissed me off that she poured perfume on her elephant. Lady. It's an elephant. They don't smell like roses. Also, elephants are awesome. If you don't like elephants, there's something seriously wrong with you. I think you might be a serial killer. Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but maybe you should just turn yourself in now. Just go to the police station and say, "I hate elephants." They'll know what to do. ANYWAY, she sort of vindicates herself at the end by punching some people in the face, but she's still annoying. And I know Indiana Jones is a bit of a man whore, but seriously? I worry about his judgement that he hooks up with the chick who almost gets him (and Data) killed because she was afraid of some bugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know they were big SCAAAARY bugs, but suck it up! When people are about to get squished, you fondle all the bugs you have to in order to save them. It's common courtesy.