so, so bitter

I think I'm ready to try and talk about this. Let me begin by saying, just in case it wasn't obvious enough in all my previous posts, that I am really bitter. I mean, really, really, really bitter. And angry. I'm likening my feelings toward Bush winning to the five stages of grief.

First, there is Denial. I think I worked through that stage last night (or early this morning) as I watched the gap in Ohio grow and grow.

Next, we have Anger. I'm not done with this one yet. Not by a long shot. I don't think I will be for about, oh, four years. And the thought of being angry for another four years is exhausting.

Then, there's Bargaining. I was done with this one last night. It didn't really last very long.

Next? Depression. Oh, this one is here in spades. Actually, as of right now I'm pretty much bouncing between anger and depression.

Finally, Acceptance. Ha. I mean, I've accepted that Bush won, but I'm still really confused about it. It amazes me that so many people think he's doing a good enough job that he deserved four more years. I'm absolutely stunned. Honestly, I have no idea what to say about it.

And, I'm getting sick of some Republicans telling me to suck it up. Not to be a sore loser. Because this wasn't a game. Let us have a moment, ok? We're disappointed. Really disappointed. I'm not saying you can't gloat. God knows, I would be if Kerry had won. But put yourselves in our shoes for just a minute. A lot of us have been miserable and angry and embarrassed for four years, and we're just trying to work through the realization that we have another four years of the same, damn thing.

I'm so disappointed in this country, and also in Ohio. I'm ashamed to come from this state. Not just because the state went to Bush, but because the "Marriage Protection" Act passed with 60%. It passed in every state where it was an issue. That disgusts me. I realize people have certain beliefs. Good for them. But you know what? Just because YOUR god says something is wrong does not mean you have the right to push your beliefs onto others.

Why in the world are people so worried about what's going to happen if gay people get married? How does that take away from the sanctity of YOUR marriage? Why aren't you worried about all the divorce in this country? I think that's hurting marriage a lot more than two guys picking out china patters.

It also terrifies me that the Republicans control the House, the Senate, and the White House. I feel like my rights are in jeopardy. I feel like I have no voice. I feel like my vote meant shit.

Mostly? I'm just exhausted and I wish I could sleep for the next four years.