YOU GUYS. Check this out:
Book Inscriptions
I'm totally published.
ALSO. It's hot outside. I don't like to sweat in my work clothes. Those clothes are not for sweating. These are the clothes for sweating: shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, sports bra, no clothes. That is all.
AND ALSO. When I got home from work just now, there was a hot guy in our apartment parking lot. I've never seen Hot Guy before, but he was hot and he was wearing a suit and he was carrying a man bag, but not like a girly man bag, like a Jim Halpert man bag. I felt like I should have asked Hot Guy in for a cold beverage, because wearing a suit must have been miserable, but he was on the phone. Actually, he was standing next to his car with the door open and when I pulled into the parking spot, I almost hit him and took his door off. Oops, but it was his fault, really, for standing there with his door open being all hot and distracting me. I mean, he almost made me forget the wine in my car and that would have been a tragedy indeed. I got wine because of this cellular phone device Conversation With My Roommate:
Me: HEIDI.
Heidi: Yes?
Me: I have several important questions for you.
Heidi: OK.
Me: One! Do you want to skip the gym tonight?
Heidi: Haha, YES.
Me: OK, good. Two! Do you want me to stop and get a bottle of wine on the way home?
Heidi: Um, of course.
Me: Awesome, because I am feeling the need to drink and drink until I never wake up.
Heidi: Wow, that's not good.
Me: Today was the LONGEST. DAY. EVER. Anyway, QUESTION THREE, do you want to have Papa Murphy's for dinner?
Heidi: YES.
So that happened. Do you all have Papa Murphy's? If not, then I feel sorry for you. It's take and bake (and I helped hahahahaha oh god, sorry). Anyway, you go there, they make the pizza while you watch and then you take it home and cook it. It's delicious and even better? It's so cheap. Cheap and easy. Just like your mom. Hahahahaha oh god, sorry.
But seriously, wtf, this is the longest week I have ever been a part of. It could be because we've had visitors in our office all week and I have to be nice to them and being nice is hard. Or that we had training yesterday and today. Or MAYBE it's because I'm so fucking tired. And the REASON I'm so fucking tired is because I have inexplicably woken up an hour before my alarm EACH AND EVERY DAY THIS WEEK and then I just lie there NOT SLEEPING. Until like three minutes before my alarm goes off so I hit snooze 19 times and then I'm late for work. Only I haven't been late to work, which is odd, because sometimes when I get up early and have all the time in the world, I'm still late to work. I don't know.
So I have to go to the lady doctor tomorrow. What a GREAT way to start my weekend. I'm really, really looking forward to having my vagina put on display and being poked and prodded with metal instruments. It's awesome. Those of you with vaginas know what I'm talking about. If this paragraph is offending you then you're probably not going to want to read what I write after tomorrow's appointment. Don't say I didn't warn you.
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