nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, I'm going back to the start

Are you there, Internets? It's me, Jennie. I feel blue. I was on the verge of declaring it WORST. DAY. EVER. Week, but I don't think I can blame it on the week.

I started volunteer training at Oak Tree Corner again. Oak Tree Corner is a center for grieving children. The kids range from ages 3 to 18 and they've all lost a parent or a close family member. I know it sounds completely depressing, but it's really not. When you walk into a meeting, you'd never guess these were all grieving children. There are no tears, just general kid-type activities such as running jumping climbing trees only not really climbing trees because there are no trees inside the building.

While the actual group meetings aren't really somber affairs, the training can get a little weepy. Mostly because they make you talk about all these times you've experienced loss and you have to get in touch with your feelings and I don't know about you, but I try to avoid my feelings as much as possible. I'm like the Cristina Yang of . . . southwestern Ohio. It's true. Ask anyone.

The group I was with last year was not very weepy, but this group? This one lady cried like three times. The number one thing that makes me cry is other people crying. It doesn't matter why they're crying. It's kind of like how some people puke if they see someone else puke. I think that analogy is perfect because I feel the same about crying as I do about puking (psst, I hate them both).

One of the activities we had to do was create a Loss Line, which is basically a timeline where you write down every loss you've experienced. It doesn't have to be a death, it can also be something like your parents getting divorced, a difficult break up, moving away, blah blah sadface. So, after we did this, we all had to hold them up and explain it to the rest of the group. And as I'm going through mine, and talking about John dying and watching my friend struggle with the death of her brother and how I just wanted to hug her until all the bad feelings just left forever and while I was talking I started thinking, "Oh shit . . . oh no . . . voice thickening . . . eyes burning . . . you're gonna cry, aren't you? Well you can just FORGET ABOUT THAT. Seriously. You stop it this instant, young lady! THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASEBALL heehee, I love that movie OK stop talking before you start cry-laughing." It was a close call, is what I'm saying.

Anyway. If you really feel like crying today, draw a quick Loss Line and talk about it in front of a group of strangers. Or you could just listen to Coldplay all day like I've been doing. It's really your call.