Yesterday, I had my last long day of volunteer training. I still have one more session on Wednesday, but it's not as long and all we're doing filling out paperwork and coloring. Yes, I said coloring. Yesterday's training session, though . . . oh mylanta. Because we're supposed to be helping these kids grieve, we all have to learn how to listen or whatever and this means we spend a lot of time talking about the deaths of our loved ones and our feelings and it makes me very uncomfortable. When it's my turn to talk I try to get it over with as quickly as possible.
Anyway, so I'm looking forward for the training to be over so I can stop talking about myself. Except for on here. Of course. Duh.
Saturday night Heidi's brother had a party so we hung out in the country. We drank red wine out of glass tumblers and I got to observe country boys in their natural habitat. It was interesting. They all have these trucks with giant tires on them and they'd hook them together and then play like . . . tug of war with them or something. I didn't understand the point, really, but it was entertaining, although at one point I commented that I thought they should just get a ruler, whip out their penises, and be done with it. But they just kept pulling trucks instead. Seems like a lot less work to me, but what do I know? I've never even driven a truck.
I also hurt myself playing beer pong. I'll bet you're wondering how that's possible. Well, see, here's the thing. We'd been playing cornhole before beer pong and just kind of stacked the cornhole boards right next to the beer pong table. I forgot we put them there and went running after a rogue ping pong ball and ran my knee right into one of the cornhole boards. I guess it hurt but I think my body is so used to me hurting it that it doesn't really register pain anymore.
Then I had a total Sophie's Choice moment. I was coming out of the bathroom when Heidi came running in all frantic like Patrick Oleson was chasing her. You guys, CONVERSATIONSWITHMYROOMMATE!
Heidi: Don't go back outside!
Heidi: Because Scooter is going to ask you out.
Me: But my beer is out there!
Heidi: It's your call, but if you go out there, he's going to ask you out to dinner.
Me: But I barely talked to him all night!
Heidi: Yeah, well.
Heidi: Quick! Go in there and pretend to be asleep.
Me: Good call. Bye, beer.
Sigh. Poor beer. It was almost full, too.