I have a problem concentrating when people are talking to me. I know this. I'm reminded of it almost every day. OK, every hour. Apparently, I need to work on my listening skills. Sometimes I'm in a meeting and I don't realize I haven't been listening until someone is all, "does anyone have any ideas or suggestions?" and I'm like, "yes, I have an idea about how we only really need to work four days a week . . . what's that you say? That has nothing to do with what we were talking about? Oh, sorry." I wish I could say I'm thinking about something important but I'm probably not. Like the other day, my boss was explaining something to me and I was making sure to make eye contact so she'd know I was really paying attention and then I noticed that she has brown eyes and I started wondering if it's harder to see out of brown eyes than out of blue eyes, because blue eyes are clear. I swear the reason I can't lie is because I have blue eyes. You can't hide lies behind blue eyes. Everything is on display. It's both scary and annoying. I would say it's also the reason I can't keep secrets, but I don't think that's it. Really it's because I get drunk and tell everyone everything. Whether they want to hear it or not. Unless it's a big secret, then I don't tell anyone ever. Like how I'm pregnant? No one knows! Not even the father!
Haha, JK. I totally told the father. HAHA JK AGAIN. Oh the laughter, it hurts. Although, speaking of unplanned pregnancy, I freaked my mom out the other day with the following exchange:
Mom: I was really nauseous the other day and your dad kept joking that I was pregnant.
Me: Is that even possible?
Mom: Not anymore.
Me [patting my stomach]: Maybe you were just experiencing sympathy morning sickness.
Man, you should have seen the look of horror on my mom's face. It was priceless.
Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh, right, getting distracted. My problem (one of many) is that I live too much in my own head and forget to pay attention to real life. When I was a tiny freshman in high school, I started talking to this boy. He kept talking about this upcoming dance and how he didn't have a date. It was one of those dances where the girl asks the boy. I think he even sent me a flower. It didn't occur to me until after the dance was over that he'd been trying to get me to ask him to be my date. I think he ended up going with someone else. Oops. Oh well. Story of my life.
I am just no good with subtlety. I need to be smacked over the head with something before it finally sinks in. And even then, I may be too busy thinking about this:
Maybe if I concentrate hard enough I might be able to actually astrally project myself to the moon and if I could I should probably buy a spacesuit just in case, even though I'm pretty sure when you astrally project yourself somewhere, it's not actually your BODY that goes so I might not need a spacesuit after all which is good because those sound expensive
to pay much attention. Also, I'm probably gonna be pretty pissed that you're smacking me in the head and might pretend not to know what you're talking about just out of spite.
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