I am not proud of what you are about to read

I am very gullible. Which is why I believed my dad when he told me that there were such things as a Vulcans and that they have black blood. I'm also very open to suggestion. Which is why I'm not allowed to look at WebMD anymore. I am also slightly crazy, which is why the other day I looked up Asperger's syndrome because I thought I might have it.

I am not making this up. I'm blaming it on my extreme suggestibility, because Heidi and I have been watching America's Next Top Model and there is a girl with Asperger's on there. And basically all I knew about Asperger's was that it's a mild form of autism and nothing Asperger's Girl was doing on the show struck me as all that odd. So she wanted to write in her journal rather than hang out with all those catty bitches? Um, who wouldn't? Now is maybe a good time to mention that once in high school I wondered if I WAS mildly autistic, because my psychology teacher told us that people with autism don't like distractions and, IN FACT, cannot concentrate if someone so much as taps their pencil repeatedly. I was all, "OH SHIT," because I had just turned around and bitched at the girl behind me for having her feet on the back of my chair because it was causing a mild tremor all the way up to my desk.

Also, there were all those repeated viewings of Rainman.

So, OK, I thought I had Asperger's for a while. But then I looked it up on Wacko-pedia (thank you, Heather) and realized that I do not, in fact, suffer from any sort of autism, mild or otherwise. Although, here are some of the symptoms that hit a little too close to home:

Dislike any changes in routines. (No, seriously, I don't even like changing what I eat on a daily basis)

Have unusual facial expressions or postures. (OK, cause sometimes I'm just sitting there and I realize I have some crazy expression on my face FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER)

Talk a lot, usually about a favorite subject. One-sided conversations are common. Internal thoughts are often verbalized. (Hi, welcome to my blog)

Have delayed motor development. (I fall down a lot)

But, aside from all that, I realize that it's ridiculous to have even entertained the thought that I have Asperger's. Clearly, this is all Tyra's fault.

Although, I'm still not convinced that I don't have Mad Cow Disease.