I keep forgetting I'm supposed to be posting crap to my blog every day this month. I mean, I usually do post almost every day, but now that I know I HAVE to, I'm all "DON'T TELL ME MY BUSINESS, DEVIL WOMAN!" True story. I just yelled it. No one can vouch for that, though, because I'm home alone. All alooooone.
So I had to drive all the way back to Lenscrafters today JUST to tell the eye doctor that yes, the contacts she gave me are fine. No, they do not make my eyes bleed. No, I have not run over any small children while driving with them in. You know, basically questions I could have answered over the phone. THEN she tried to convince me to order the most expensive contacts they carried and I was all, "no, no, it's OK, I've used these forever and they're fine," and she was all, "OK, but they're not as breathable, blah blah blah, maybe you should change them every two weeks instead of every month," and I was all, "BITCH PLEASE! I can make a year's worth of contacts last TWO YEARS. THAT IS HOW GREAT MY POWERS ARE!" Only, I didn't yell that. I just nodded and smiled and in my head planned to wear the contacts for at least a month and a half because what does she know? She's just a doctor.
Earlier I was thinking about that movie, Can't Hardly Wait. I don't know why. It's sort of like how I start thinking about what would happen if Indiana Jones and Han Solo got in a fight. Or how sometimes in meetings I wonder what everyone would do if I jumped on the table and started rolling around shouting curse words. Anyway, I used to really like that movie. But then I got to thinking about it and it's such bullshit. Cute little Ethan Embry is all in love with bland, big-boobed Jennifer Love Hewitt? I don't think so. He's going away to study with KURT FUCKING VONNEGUT and she? She quoted Jewel next to her yearbook photo. I rest my case.
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