Thursday, November 08, 2007

You're probably going to wonder how I wind up talking about chipmunks by the end of this. I wish I could explain it. But I cannot.

A couple weeks ago, my boss mentioned that we'd be making a training tool for people to use during Open Enrollment this year. Everyone has to enroll online, even if they're not changing their benefits OR THEY GET NOTHING. Apparently this is a problem for some people because they don't know how to read or click buttons or something, hence the training tool. Basically, it takes them through each enrollment screen and points where they need to click and highlights important information and puts blinking red lights next to things they're NOT supposed to click. While it takes them through each screen, someone reads all the instructions to them in a calm, soothing manner so they don't get too excited and their heads don't explode from all the thinking.

That someone is me. When my boss initially brought up the idea of this training tool, she said that someone would probably need to do the voiceover. No one really volunteered, but we all joked around that we'd hold auditions and stage an American Idol-style competition to pick the lucky winner. Then no one said anything about it for like a week and so I forgot about it. Until last week, when my boss asked me if I'd be comfortable doing the voiceover, because of my "pleasant voice and good diction." Heh, DICtion. Anyway, since there is nothing I love more in this world than the sound of my own voice, I agreed.

So earlier this week, I spent about an hour in the conference room with one of the IT guys, speaking slowly into a tiny microphone. Seriously, you guys, this microphone was hilarious. It was on a little microphone stand, but it was like . . . chipmunk sized. Like a chipmunk could use it to sing his indie rock songs. Not Alvin & the Chipmunks, though, because I always got the impression that they were bigger than normal chipmunks. What's that about? Were they like radioactive chipmunks? Or did Dave feed them human growth hormone or something? Chipmunk growth hormone? Anyone?

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