Sunday, August 15, 2004

down with change

I miss my friends. It's a strange time right now, because students are starting to flood back to Wittenberg, but most of my friends and I . . . are not. I feel like I should be packing and getting ready to move back, but I'm not doing that this year. Most of us have moved on to a new phase, but as for myself, and for several of my friends who haven't found jobs, we're still stuck in this in-between place. We're not in the Wittenberg bubble anymore. I suppose I'm the closest, since I'll still be taking a class, but I'm not going to be living on campus and it makes me feel like an outsider.

I still have friends at Witt. People I love and am excited to see again. But things have changed so much. And the scary thing is, they're not finished changing. I don't know where I'll be in six months; I don't know where the majority of my friends will be within the next few months. And it's scary. I suppose it's something everyone goes through, and it will get better, but I just hate the way I feel right now. I just keep thinking of where I was at this point last year. My housemates and I had moved into our new apartment and we were so excited. We spent the week before classes started just hanging out and enjoying each other's company, much as we spent the week after graduation this year. I love that I can remember how much fun that was, and I can relish the memories, but part of me wants to go back. Ok, more than part of me does. I just miss everyone.

Sorry. Usually I'm pretty upbeat and don't write about much of consequence, but I suppose everyone is entitled to a down day now and then.

I promise to be back to my happy, non-serious self tomorrow. Until then, go watch Old Yeller so we'll all be crying.

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