I'm watching the dumbest movie right now. It's on Oxygen, but really, it belongs on the Lifetime Movie Network. Shannen Doherty is in it, which should have been my first clue that it might not be exactly Oscar-worthy. Basically, this girl is obsessed with another girl because back when they were like 10 and in a talent show, one girl totally choked and the other one was really good, and the one who choked only sucked so bad because her psycho stage mom put too much pressure on her. Cut to ten years later, and both girls are in college. The good one is in a sorority and she's like, president or something. And she's in a band. So the other girl becomes totally obsessed with Sorority President, becomes friends with her, joins the sorority, somehow gets into the band, and has sex with her boyfriend. She's basically trying to take over her life.
Here's the surprising thing. Brenda Walsh DOESN'T play the psychotic-boyfriend-stealer. I know! I was surprised, too! She's the victim; the one we're supposed to feel sorry for. It's so not right, because everyone knows Shannen Doherty is batshit crazy.
The movie is completely unbelievable, too. Both of these girls are in this band, but they absolutely suck. And just now, the psycho girl killed a guy in an alley with her BARE HANDS. She didn't even use a knife, or a big piece of wood like a normal Lifetime-Psycho-Bitch. The movie isn't over yet, but I expect many more bits of improbable craziness. And I'm sure someone will die soon.
The best part is, Shannon Doherty's name in the movie is Heather.
You're probably wondering why I'm still watching it. So am I, actually.
It's so bad, it's breathtaking.
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