Tonight we went to Mama DiSalvo's for my dad's birthday. Our waitress was this older lady who kind of reminded me of my grandma. I named her Doreen but my dad said that Doreen sounds more like the name of a waitress in a truck stop. So we decided that our waitress used to work at a truck stop but she's slowly making her way up the ladder. First Burger King, then truck stop, then Applebees, then nice Italian restaurant, then cruise ship. She's so close.
We also decided that you can tell the fanciness of a restaurant by what kind of napkins they have (cloth or paper), how much silverware they provide you, and whether or not they have a wine list.
The whole making up a history for Doreen (real name "Carol") came up because I was telling my parents how I made up a history for that girl in the Western Union commercial. She says she's living in Hollywood but her only agent is her Western Union agent, and she wants to be an actress. I decided that she'd end up dating the guy from Western Union and she'd get pregnant and give up her dream to be the next Julia Roberts. They'd move to North Dakota and buy a farm, because that's where Western Union Guy is from and also owning a farm has always been his dream. Things would be going fine until all their cows become infected with Mad Cow Disease and they go bankrupt. They'd have to move from their big farmhouse to a trailer park, which would be hit by a tornado the next year.
I don't know what happens to them after that.
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