Sunday, April 06, 2008

I hope Heaven is an indie rock concert

Only not really, because at concerts there are all these people invading my personal space. Apparently, they don't all know that I have an invisible bubble around me and the only people that can come in are the people I personally invite.

Also. Dear Tall People, please stop standing directly in front of me. Did you notice that I'm about a foot shorter than you are? All I want to do is catch the occasional glimpse of the stage, but I can't see through your gigantic head. Move. MOVE. Please?

I came up with this idea last night that since I'm only 5'2, I should be allowed to stand on a stool all night that will bring me up to average height, which is what? 5'6? Or something? I don't know. I feel really claustrophobic in situations like crowded concerts. I've tried to explain this to people, but I don't think they get it. See, when I'm in a big crowd and there are people all around me and they're all taller than I am? I feel like I can't breathe because the tall people are stealing all the air. Also, I'm kind of afraid of getting trampled. The good part about being short in these situations? You can usually wind your way through a crowd pretty quickly by like ducking under elbows and stuff. I realize I'm making it sound like I'm only three feet tall and I know this isn't the case, but sometimes it feels like that, OK? OK.

Anyway, there were no mishaps at the concert, so I didn't have to break onto Spoon's tour bus or anything. Everything was SO GOOD, you guys, from the White Rabbits to The Walkmen to Spoon's double encore, my heart was so happy.

I guess my heart is still happy (just sleepy) because the sun is out and it's warm enough for just a t-shirt and Lord knows I have enough t-shirts to last about 100 warm days. Heidi and I had waffles for breakfast and we're headed to Cox (hee) Arboretum soon. I think it's gonna be a good day.


  1. (1) last time i saw the walkmen my boyfriend and the lead singer were dressed exactly alike. it was weird.

    (2) i have never been able to pronounce the word arboretum.

  2. Kat, (1) last night the lead singer was dressed sort of like Johnny Cash. He didn't sing Ring of Fire, though.

    (2) But you can pronounce Cox, right?

  3. I think you should turn yourself into a pick-pocket at concerts. Given your height and your proximity to the tall people wallets you could make a killing.

    Also - MG!, the wife and I have Okkervil River and The New Pornographers coming up in 8 days, and MG! just scored us tickets to see Radiohead. I'm kinda geeked out over these shows.

  4. I'm 5'5, and I still feel like I'm 3 feet tall at concerts. I'm convinced that concert venues purposely hunt down tall people to go to concerts and piss off the short people. And then the short people go buy t-shirts and buttons and stickers and lots of beers, because they're frustrated about being short and not being able to see the stage. And then the short people get even angrier and band together and start a riot. And then the next day the papers say "Leprechauns Angry Over Unfair Treatment, Drunken Riot Ensues."


  5. Man, it's not just the g'normous heads,but if you're 5'2" and they're 6'5" that pretty much puts your face really close to their farts.

  6. GSR, if I ever get arrested for pick-pocketing, I'm blaming you.

    Stephanie, well, I showed them. I didn't buy ANYTHING, except one beer and that was before I started to get trampled.

  7. Sally, exactly! I can't imagine it's healthy to directly inhale that many farts.

  8. I dont go to concerts for that reason. I HATE being short in public.

    Weren't we supposed to go to the movies yesterday? What happened to us?

    I cleaned my oven- good news.

  9. That was my fault. I told Heidi it was too nice outside to spend the day at the movies.