the word you're looking for is, aaaanyway . . .

Yesterday was a big day. I got a laptop. FINALLY. It's nothing sexy and was very cheap, but considering I'm going to use it to surf the Internets and . . . surf the Internets, it's perfect. Also? It doesn't randomly turn off by itself all the time like my old computer. Which, I will now tell you, I've had since freshman year of college. This means I've been using that computer for eight years. EIGHT YEARS. That's a long time. I could have an eight-year-old kid by now, you know, like if I'd gotten pregnant in high school and had the baby over the summer, right after graduation. I mean, if they'd let me graduate with my pregnant belly sticking out of my gown. Which they would have, because if they had tried to stop me, I would have petitioned the school board and if they STILL said no, well, I would have busted into graduation anyway, run (ok, waddled) across the stage, and grabbed a random diploma from the pile.

Something even more exciting than a laptop happened yesterday. Heidi almost had a heart attack during the last few seconds of her attempt to buy a Wii on eBay. But it was all for naught, because she totally won.

I'm sorry, did you hear me? Heidi. Bought. A. Wii. So when that gets here, I'll probably have to say goodbye to you, Internets, because I will be too busy playing with Heidi's Wii to talk to you anymore. Also, what with the laptop and the Wii? I'll probably never leave the apartment again.

Speaking of technology, last night at volunteering I was sitting next to this charming little girl wearing a pug t-shirt and a yellow scrunchie. She was telling me about how one of her friends has an iPhone and before I could be all, "wtf does a 9-year-old need with an iPhone, GIVE IT TO ME," she THEN told me that they sometimes watch YouTube on the iPhone at recess. I nodded as she spoke, but she must have thought I looked confused (which is my natural state), because she stopped to explain something.

"YouTube is this thing on the Internet," she said. "You can like watch videos and stuff."

"Oh," I said, as if I didn't regularly make the Internet my bitch. "That sounds neat."

I stopped myself from explaining that I'd been there for the beginning of YouTube and knew more than she did about it nyah nyah nyah, because sometimes, not very often, but SOMETIMES, I do actually remember that I'm the adult.