Friday, December 03, 2004

high hopes

I think I've decided not to make any New Year's Resolutions this year. I never follow through on them anyway. Here's what happens . . . I write them down or, more likely, spout them off quickly while I'm distracted with something else, and then completely forget about them.

So. None of that THIS year. I'm going to go through 2005 with the same casual indifference I went through with in 2004.

If anything, I'll make resolutions that I'm pretty sure can't be broken even if I do nothing.

Like, for instance:

1. Don't kill anyone.
2. Don't get pregnant.
3. Don't go on a reality show.
4. Don't write a threatening letter to the President.
5. Don't forget to feed fish for more than a day.
6. Don't become too successful.
7. Don't not drink too much.
8. Don't blow up car.

I think I can handle all of that. Number 4 might be difficult, but I'm guessing my fear of going to prison probably outweighs my extreme dislike of our Commander in Chief.

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