I've been lying in bed for almost three hours trying to fall asleep. I tried reading myself tired. I tried boring myself tired by watching cable access TV. I tried a relaxation exercise I learned in yoga. I think I fell asleep for like two minutes, but here I am now, wide awake.
Well, not exactly wide awake. I'm tired, I know I should be sleeping, but I just can't seem to fall asleep. This has been happening off and on (more on than off) all month and I can't figure out why. My sister and mom take melatonin before they go to bed, but I tried that and it made me feel weird. Granted, that was probably all in my head, but still. I don't like feeling any weirder than normal.
I could take some Tylenol PM, but in the past that has made me feel super groggy when I wake up. So, unless I plan on sleeping til 4 in the afternoon tomorrow (which would be nice, but very unproductive) I probably shouldn't take any of that. If I'd thought of it earlier, I could have just drank myself to sleep, but it's too late for that and I don't want to deal with the hangover tomorrow anyway. Excuse me, not tomorrow, later today.
This is such a vicious cycle. I lie there in bed, staring at the ceiling thinking, "I should be sleeping. I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow. Ok, if I fall asleep right now I can still get 6 hours of sleep and that's totally fine. What is that noise outside? Oh my god, what if someone's trying to break in. I should look out the window to make sure no one's out there. But what if there is? What if they're standing right outside my window and when I look out all I'll see are two dark, glaring eyes staring back at me? That'd scar me for life. Where's my cell phone? If someone tries to break in, I'll probably hear it and I'll just call 911. Do they really put people on hold? That is so wrong. Oh my god, what if I don't wake up? He'll come straight into my room because it's the first door and I won't hear it because I'll be so tired by then that I'll be DEAD ASLEEP and then when he comes in I'll just be DEAD! Maybe I shouldn't read Stephen King before bed anymore. Ok, if I fall asleep right now I can still get almost 6 hours of sleep." More and more time passes, and I start to worry about how I'm not going to get any sleep that it makes me all anxious thus PROHIBITING me from going to sleep.
What is WRONG with me?