honk honk

Do you know what's on TV at 4 in the morning? Infomercials, which I don't mind because I actually like watching some of those. I don't like all the weight loss ones, but I like the ones selling like 40 CDs as a package. X-Files reruns, which I love but can be really creepy when I'm the only one awake and I've already freaked myself out imagining that there's someone outside the window. Actual music videos on both MTV and VH1. And Fuse, but they're always playing music videos. And finally, crappy movies. I watched part of a crappy movie with John Travolta, part of a crappy movie that looked like a ripoff of The Ring, and part of Stop, or My Mom Will Shoot!

I heard my dad's alarm go off twice, so he must have hit snooze. I heard him shut the door to the bathroom. I heard him leave for work. I think I fell asleep sometime after this, but I woke back up at 8:23. I drifted back to sleep, then woke up a few more times before I finally dragged myself out of bed.

Before I went to "sleep" last night, I caught part of Beetlejuice. That movie holds a special place in my heart, if only because my friend's little brother used to imitate Beetlejuice grabbing his crotch and going, "HONK HONK." Priceless.

Anyway, the part I watched last night was when Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis find their Dead Person's Handbook or whatever it's called. Alec Baldwin draws a door on the brick wall, knocks three times and it opens.

I hesitate to tell you this because I think it makes me seem crazier than I really am. When I was younger I drew a door on the side of our house with chalk, knocked three times, and waited for the door to the underworld to open.

I don't know what's worse. The fact that I was influenced by a movie like Beetlejuice or that I actually thought it would work and was disappointed when the door didn't immediately open.