I just saw the funniest preview for a Lifetime movie. It's called Crimes of Passion: She Woke Up Pregnant. It's about a lady who was raped by her dentist, I guess? When she's all hopped up on laughing gas or something? Well. Probably not laughing gas. You know what I mean. And it's not enough that she gets raped by her dentist, but she also gets KNOCKED UP. Unfair. I think I'd be more upset about being pregnant than the rape thing. WOW, OK, I realize that's not particularly funny AT ALL, in fact, it's downright inappropriate for me to be cackling like a drunk clown (omg wtf?) but if you'd seen the preview you'd know why it was funny. I guess this is what you get for being wherever you are instead of in my apartment.
You may be asking yourself, "why is Jennie watching Lifetime?" Well, the answer is because, for some reason, Lifetime Movie Network is showing Conspiracy Theory right now.
You may be asking yourself, "why is Jennie watching a mediocre Mel Gibson movie on a Friday night?" Well, the answer is because, for some reason, I have to go into work tomorrow. And possibly Sunday, which may RUIN my plans to go to Lampl's Saturday night and drink and play Rock Band and if that happens, something is getting set on fire, that's for sure.
You may be asking yourself, "I wonder what Jennie is going to set on fire?" Well, the answer is . . . hey . . . I can't tell you. You wanna know why? Because you might go to the cops. Narc.
I saw part of the dentist-raping movie. It really is funny. REALLY funny.
ReplyDeleteI'm almost convinced that on the applications for women in therapists' offices there should be a box to check if they watch lots of Lifetime. I'm pretty sure that would answer a lot of problems early on about their sanity. FACT: Lifetime fucking sucks. I'm pretty sure it rots the brains of at least a bajillion people a year.
ReplyDeleteBut you aren't laughing at the true story-- you're laughing at Lifetime's horrifying attempt at creating a drama from it. It's actually Lifetime's fault.
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