You know how sometimes they (who is they?) say that a really smart person doesn't have any common sense? Well, if you changed "really smart person" to "someone of average intelligence," then that could totally apply to me.
For instance! Feast your eyes on my stupidity! Earlier this week, I caught the plague from someone. Either Heidi or one of the 800 people at work who were walking around sneezing and coughing on everything and everyone. I seriously considered wearing a surgical mask to work and the only reason I didn't was because I didn't have one. I began to miss working at the orthodontist's office, where I could regularly wipe my phone and computer and self down with antibacterial wipes. Or at the very least, walk around wearing latex gloves. But I can't do that anymore, because there IS no latex in my new office building. Unless you count the condom dispenser in the bathroom, but it's not like I can walk around with condoms on my hands. I kid, I kid. I'd never put condoms on my hands. Zing! Yeah, I don't know.
Anyway, so I started to feel not good Tuesday night. So not good that I ended up staying home from work on Wednesday, where I sat around in my pajamas and watched half a season of Arrested Development and slept for, oh, about 18 hours. True story. No, it's not. I only slept 17 hours. I did watch half a season of Arrested Development, though. Season one. The middle half. True story. Oh my god, Jennie, stop it.
I went back to work yesterday (booooo!), but I still felt like poo for the majority of the day. Yet, FOR SOME REASON, when I got home from work I was all, "I should go running." What? No. But in my head, I kept telling myself not to be a pussy, that I didn't feel THAT bad, and GODDAMN IT GET YOUR RUNNING SHOES ON AND GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE.
So I went running and it wasn't terrible, other that it was really fucking cold outside and by the end I couldn't really feel my ears. Oh, and also my chest hurt for the rest of the night but it feels alright now. I mean, sure, I'm a little more ADD than usual (I put deodorant on no fewer than three times this morning because I couldn't remember if I'd done it or not) and I'm sort of (really) sleepy, but it's Friday and I'm ADD and sleepy on Fridays ANYWAY. I guess the moral of the story is that I'm stupid and have no common sense but it's OK because it hasn't killed me.
Yet.
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Today on The Collective, who would you do?
When my ears get cold I curl up in a ball and cry. It feels like it is freezing my brain. True story.
ReplyDeleteI think hot buttered rum perhaps is better than running. I can't prove it, but since I can't DISprove it either, I'm going with it.
ReplyDeleteh!a! I think it'd probably be bad for your brain to freeze. Not mine, though, cause I barely use it.
ReplyDeleteShari, I'm going to try that next time.
I can't even bring myself to go running when I'm in perfect health, but because of this post, instead of calling myself "hideously, unbearably lazy," now I know that I just "have common sense." Thank you, Jennie!
ReplyDeleteif i'm really sleepy today does that mean i don't have to go running?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I can't get past the fact that your office building has a condom dispenser!!
ReplyDeleteAnd don't feel too bad - the guilt of watching a half a season of Arrested Development is far worse when you can't blame it on being sick. Trust me on this one.
I have read in a few places that running while you have a cold can actually help fight it. That said, I hate the fact that I know that because the guilt gets to me every time I'm sick and want to melt into the couch.
ReplyDeleteAnd about the germs - it is astounding how many people don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom. Observe the next time you happen to be in the bathroom at work. Yick!