maybe I'm unbreakable, just like Bruce Willis

Because I (wanna) quit the gym (!), I decided I need to start running again. Outside. In the elements. Luckily, the weather this week is supposed to be freakishly warm. Well, not freakishly warm as in it's going to be 800,000 degrees because CLEARLY if it was that hot, I wouldn't be sitting here typing. I might be incredibly awesome, but I'm not immortal. That I know of. I've never really tested it, other than consistently trying to drink all the alcohol in a three mile radius. I guess I COULD be immortal. I mean, I'm still here despite all the times I've fallen over and hit my head on stuff. Oh my god, you guys, what if I AM immortal? That would be amazing. Except that I'm totally wasting it. Oh well.

I almost talked myself out of going running because it looked like it might rain. Other excuses I have used to not go running: it's too cold, it's too hot, it's too sunny, it's too windy, my toe kind of hurts, I don't feel like putting on a sports bra, I can't find my shoes, it's too dark and I don't want to get assraped, there's an America's Next Top Model marathon on TV and Tyra isn't going to watch herself. Except she totally would because she's an attention whore. Anyway, irrelevant. What IS relevant is that it wasn't raining when I got home from work. It was somewhat cloudy and MSN told me that it was supposed to rain. I know because it had a little picture of a cloud with rain drops coming out. That either means rain or the cloud is crying and why would the cloud be crying? Maybe because he embarrassed himself in front of his cloud friends, I guess. In which case, he should stop crying because they're going to make fun of him even MORE if he keeps up the pussy baby whining. Did I ever tell you guys about the children's book I wrote in high school? WELL. We had to write and illustrate a children's book and so I wrote this story about how all the colors in the world were arguing with each other. Red was all, "I'm the best!" and then green was like, "uh-uh, untrue!" and yellow was all, "try having sunlight without ME, suckers!" and then this cloud came out and was like, "you kids be quiet, I'm trying to sleep!" and then she got angry and started shooting lightning and pissing rain on everything. THEN all the colors made a rainbow. Barf. I'm pretty sure I have this "book" at the apartment somewhere. That would be phenomenal. I think it might be even worse than The Evil Summer. Oh wait, that would be impossible.

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Today on The Collective, Abigail loves a LOT of people.