Wednesday, November 22, 2006

It is time for your next test. You have planted the beet seed. You have walked the long lonely walk of loneliness.

You may find this hard to believe, and I find it hard to admit, but I am a just a tiny bit of a control freak. Maybe you don't find this hard to believe. You probably don't, if you're my sister. Or my mom. Or my dad but seriously, Dad? You have no room to talk. I learned it from watching YOU, Dad!

Ahem. This revelation came to me the other day at work, when they tried to change the way we do something completely trivial and I told them "NO! NO CHANGES!" only not in those words and not in caps lock. And I could explain it all to you so you could see how right I was not to let them change it but I fear it would cause many of you to back away slowly and never, ever return.

I tried to tell myself, "No, self, you are not a control freak! You just like things to run smoothly and it just so happens that you are the only one who knows how to do this correctly! It's OK, self, own it." Then I realized how often I have the following exchange:

Me: So, let me explain this to you.
Person X: OK.
Me: You're going to do this, and this, and then click that, and finally do this and then you're done!
Person X: Can I just do it this way?
Me: Why would you want to do it that way?
Person X: I don't know.
Me: I already told you how to do it the right way.
Person X: Can't there be more than one right way?
Me: No.
Person X: OK, then.
Me: Excellent.
Person X: Why are you breathing like Darth Vader?
Me: Oh. No reason.

Ever since I've realized what a control freak I can be, I've been trying to reign in those impulses. I remind myself that I cannot control every aspect of the office. And the building is not going to tumble to the ground if I'm not there one day. Or so they tell me.

But they are gonna be SO SORRY if it does.

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