I have a very important question for you, Internets. Is the . . . person who sings the hippopotamus Christmas song a boy or a girl? Or a computer-generated-voice-of-cuteness (or annoyance, based on your preference for the hippopotamus Christmas song).
I know people who hate that song, which I will never understand, because I love it with the fire of a thousand suns.
That's a lot.
Also, that song reminds me of this girl I knew in college that we called "hippo" behind her back. Not because she was fat or anything, but because she was a giant hypocrite (get it? HIPPO-crite). Also, because she was fat. Hey, I never claimed to be a nice person.